Kids

Why Elephants?

When designing my blog I had so many ideas running through my head. I finally decided I would use cute little birds sitting perfectly on a branch. Then I made the banner.

Birds?! What was I thinking, my kids are not like cute little birds. My kids are more like Elephants!

Let me tell you why.

Eating: If you want to survive in this house, you have to eat what you want fast. Those heathens will steal food right off your plate. Why is it whatever your eating always looks better than what they have on their plate! ITS THE SAME THING. I am confident they eat way more than their body weight daily.

Pooping: “I’m done” are words I have come to loathe. Lets face it, the amount of poop that comes out of our children is unbelievable. I have been known to throw away outfits, there was no hope in saving them.

The Stench: Have you ever smelt a child. No, I am not talking about cute little newborns who make your ovaries pulsate. I am talking about your stinky kids who still have syrup in their hair, ketchup stains on their shirt, rotten smelling feet and a slight odor coming from those who don’t wipe so well. Mine also pass gas like its their job.

Bath time: Water everywhere….except for the actual shower or tub. How many times can you tell them to shut the shower curtain or not splash all the water out of the tub! Then there is that one kid you have that actually poops in the bath while taking it. That child is not my favorite.

Noise: The decibel at which my children speak is unbearable.

Mass Destruction: Cleaning your house is impossible. Just as soon as I am done, my herd comes back to trample on my progress and ruin all of my motivation.

So there you have it. Elephants describe my children much better than birds. Elephants